From... to...

get me out of here because i am losing hope that i can myself and i am really scared because i do not know where i am and i am so afraid i can barely breathe anymore... come on, you've always been there, helping me, feeding on the fake promises i could never keep... please, please, please, i am crying and feeling bad for myself like a child, please, i am too afraid and i feel alone and i just want to say that i am sorry, at the least... show up, am i not a human anymore... i know i'm lazy and don't deserve it... i know some fake problems got me here... i know i shouldn't but please, please, my bones have started bleeding and my spirit is shattered and i can't be anything anymore... i know i shouldn't even be crying, that i have the solution in my hand and no excuses.
there is no but... i cannot go on without a but... too hard to grow up, to be responsible... too much failure, too much fear and hatred, i just want it to stop... i'm weak and ravaged, in an ocean of plenitude... i continue to refuse to accept, get me out of here before it's too...

And the voice started to fade as the crown fell. And the hours of redemption have finally caught up. Stuck in the same whirlwind we have made... with a spoon in our souls given by nature, stirring ourselves like tea, tea made of the leaves we have cut into tiny shreds.
The last words of sanity, as spoken by the tired man. The last call for willpower, before dying out into the chest. Too much, too soon, to little, to none.

Have you heard this befo...

And that voice faded aswell, this time nothing filling in the gap.

Here, at the end of the maelstrom... it is... silence. Nothing to be other than to be what it is to be. Pure existance. Raw being. Stirred so much... it's all the same... like in the beginning. Nothing to pull away or towards... there is nothing. 

A new part of the road. 
I... i... i think...

:)

Popular posts from this blog

Years ago...

Fairly large an empty hall with two satin seats. You were on my right, leaned back against your own vertical spine, I was as well. You were watching the show from afar, seemingly attentive but rightfully distant. With the corner of my eye I was observing your every twist. Your torso twitching, in spasms of emotions, I took note of each and every one. I loved living through your breaths, having completely forgotten about the show in front of us. Distant... frigid.  I could have almost reached you, but my nerves were caught tangled in versions of what could be, whose instant happiness guarded our skin from ever meeting. Perhaps it's in the pain of having lost a battle. What drove me on my knees with my guitar in my hands screaming "Scorch" to the tip of my lungs. As i lay in bed that night, pain overgrew me, consumed me, i had no wall. Neither did I wish to have. Now I can recall my body twitching with your same spasms of emotion. I borrowed your sublime I could not rea
Read more

Heroic Forget-me-nots

That harmonic struck just when the tram hit the rails. The restless phone call has yet to end, and my security has yet to be renewed. My first programme lies waiting for the world to see... But it's not finished yet. Phone call ends and the sun sets. Sunset colors... one of the last things to allow me to act like a normal person. I've grown wrinkles under my mask, it's time to let the wind straighten the old paperfolds threefold. When he comes home, he won't be noticing me. I'd be left a discontinued spike in his eternal timeline, I guess I should apologize. Even so, it all appears melodic, with just a mellow touch of reverb from the chamber of crimson walls and biology books. The tram hasn't passed in a while. I wonder if it's still up to get me... But it won't matter. If I don't get to live forever, at least the answers I long for will take me to my end. Answers are really all I need, confirmed over and over and over again. Actually it's jus
Read more

I wish I could keep writing forever

I am angry now. Really angry now. Been swearin for 10 minutes. Not good. Need help. Need work. Guilt, I feel guilt. But I'm angry. paralyzingly angry. Or something. Will not succumb. Prison. Angry. Need relief. Cannot find. Won't lash. Need people. Do not bother. I am angry.
Read more