Human reminder
Last three posts were unfinished thoughts from nights I just couldn't write my brain away. I couldn't, as much as I cannot now, for you won't be there to hear, for nihilism has taken over.
This is just a self-reminder, I cannot know how this period will end, but it pains me that I have to hide everything just for the sake of keeping people close.
It's a complaint, such a relief and complaint. Today marks the realisation that I could give up on everything. Nothing would be different, no one will miss it, I would just stop existing the same way, and the world would be practically identical. No courts of law could stop me, no one could tell me which choice is better.
I would just live in constant, milder pain. Only if I knew that what I feel is either temporary or permanent, maybe I could make a sensible choice.
One thing I now, this is big, a world will be either created or crushed. Thinking about this sparks crums of enthusiasm and energy that are so characteristically me.
I pray, I literally pray that this is the hated sound of the polishing of me. I pray that I don't come out deformed and unrecognizable.
To be or not to be, torturing question.
This is just a self-reminder, I cannot know how this period will end, but it pains me that I have to hide everything just for the sake of keeping people close.
It's a complaint, such a relief and complaint. Today marks the realisation that I could give up on everything. Nothing would be different, no one will miss it, I would just stop existing the same way, and the world would be practically identical. No courts of law could stop me, no one could tell me which choice is better.
I would just live in constant, milder pain. Only if I knew that what I feel is either temporary or permanent, maybe I could make a sensible choice.
One thing I now, this is big, a world will be either created or crushed. Thinking about this sparks crums of enthusiasm and energy that are so characteristically me.
I pray, I literally pray that this is the hated sound of the polishing of me. I pray that I don't come out deformed and unrecognizable.
To be or not to be, torturing question.