This becomes personal
Hah, I almost fell prey to emotions again... almost descending to your level. Wrote a whole post, and now you will never know how I feel. Again.
If I kept being angry, maybe you would have figured out that there is something wrong with you... but I just have to remember to understand you, remind myself that you are a human among human and that... no matter what you'd do to me or to others... I am capable of understanding and loving you... and I cannot keep being angry.
I am tired and alone. And my constant drift between patterns and well-defined types has cast me away in too much solitude... it would be so easy to just go back to being a hedonistic cry-baby... I cannot afford to complain or to demand any less struggle, I am already working way less than I should be. It is, all my fault.
But... here's a glimpse of the part of me that I hope I'll always keep under control:
"4th post of stress. Ok.
There has always been anger in my drafts... no, not the pints, these posts.
Mostly impersonal... trying to figure out how to send a message across...
But you... this is the first time I allow myself to accuse someone else in a long time... but it's here, this is my domain, my words are my kingdom.
Unlike yours... you enthroned in a casket of lies and fake lessons. Lie after lie after lie you go on and on and on...
Always complaining, expecting all around to react in a certain way... you fall victim to your own "protagonist disease". "Uh, what's that?"
It's the continuous belief that you are the main character of your story, everyone else being just a linear being... simple, with no ambitions and ever-changing attributes of his/her own.
How you realize you could have meant more than just an extra in one's tale. Well, you were given chances but... Both our ignorance and our pride made it so that you think you're all a victim, doing things perfectly. STOP seeing things only through your egocentric fish-lens. STOP thinking that if you see things in a way, all see it the same. STOP STOP STOP. "
See... how powerful ignorance can be... a weapon against friends and people with empathy.
If I kept being angry, maybe you would have figured out that there is something wrong with you... but I just have to remember to understand you, remind myself that you are a human among human and that... no matter what you'd do to me or to others... I am capable of understanding and loving you... and I cannot keep being angry.
I am tired and alone. And my constant drift between patterns and well-defined types has cast me away in too much solitude... it would be so easy to just go back to being a hedonistic cry-baby... I cannot afford to complain or to demand any less struggle, I am already working way less than I should be. It is, all my fault.
But... here's a glimpse of the part of me that I hope I'll always keep under control:
"4th post of stress. Ok.
There has always been anger in my drafts... no, not the pints, these posts.
Mostly impersonal... trying to figure out how to send a message across...
But you... this is the first time I allow myself to accuse someone else in a long time... but it's here, this is my domain, my words are my kingdom.
Unlike yours... you enthroned in a casket of lies and fake lessons. Lie after lie after lie you go on and on and on...
Always complaining, expecting all around to react in a certain way... you fall victim to your own "protagonist disease". "Uh, what's that?"
It's the continuous belief that you are the main character of your story, everyone else being just a linear being... simple, with no ambitions and ever-changing attributes of his/her own.
How you realize you could have meant more than just an extra in one's tale. Well, you were given chances but... Both our ignorance and our pride made it so that you think you're all a victim, doing things perfectly. STOP seeing things only through your egocentric fish-lens. STOP thinking that if you see things in a way, all see it the same. STOP STOP STOP. "
See... how powerful ignorance can be... a weapon against friends and people with empathy.