Trees without leaves
In this crumbling of self I...
It's because I am less self-aware, maybe. There are needs, obviously.
Senseless talks of myself about myself, only I is listening, only I is there, but it substitutes group therapy. There are things I lack, that obsess me... things I receive and I fail to recognize.
The longing for the material... I wish I could just detach.
The solution appears to need to manifest itself in an instant, but more and more work is required, I...
This is the time when I acknowledge my broken-ness, and my inability to tell the world about it. Down this spiral, every concept breaks down, every rule loses sense, there is a void.
"Oh, I need love so badly..." How do I put that in a way that seems genuine without repeating clichees?
It would seem that our... OUR generation needs to reinvent cultural movements just to be able to save itself... is it just me?
But I am broken. Like a misused toy. My body is in atrophy, my mind is nothing but a under-stretched ligament.
Maybe the root is somewhere between an identity crisis and a lack of general purpose. The latter comes from a really profound paradigm shift between me and the world, seemingly.
And every time I wake up, I seem to forget the pain... well, not the pain, but how it felt... and mindlessly do it all over again. I seem to be eager to rather destroy myself than build upon this feeble skin. I'm just following the second law of thermody-shut up.
And I don't know where to seek comfort. Maybe the outside world just doesn't provide, and true truth has to come from within. Total forgiveness but not forget-ness, something like that.
But I cry and the universe seems hell-bent on making life as much against construction as it can. I mean, yea, sure, physics, no benevolent God, blah blah.
Really now, life is so hard because things don't stir themselves appart... that we need to stir our hearts more... like, we need to face the whole of science just to have true peace of mind.
I swear if I met myself and had a little more energy... but I'm being egocentric and hypocritical.
It's because I am less self-aware, maybe. There are needs, obviously.
Senseless talks of myself about myself, only I is listening, only I is there, but it substitutes group therapy. There are things I lack, that obsess me... things I receive and I fail to recognize.
The longing for the material... I wish I could just detach.
The solution appears to need to manifest itself in an instant, but more and more work is required, I...
This is the time when I acknowledge my broken-ness, and my inability to tell the world about it. Down this spiral, every concept breaks down, every rule loses sense, there is a void.
"Oh, I need love so badly..." How do I put that in a way that seems genuine without repeating clichees?
It would seem that our... OUR generation needs to reinvent cultural movements just to be able to save itself... is it just me?
But I am broken. Like a misused toy. My body is in atrophy, my mind is nothing but a under-stretched ligament.
Maybe the root is somewhere between an identity crisis and a lack of general purpose. The latter comes from a really profound paradigm shift between me and the world, seemingly.
And every time I wake up, I seem to forget the pain... well, not the pain, but how it felt... and mindlessly do it all over again. I seem to be eager to rather destroy myself than build upon this feeble skin. I'm just following the second law of thermody-shut up.
And I don't know where to seek comfort. Maybe the outside world just doesn't provide, and true truth has to come from within. Total forgiveness but not forget-ness, something like that.
But I cry and the universe seems hell-bent on making life as much against construction as it can. I mean, yea, sure, physics, no benevolent God, blah blah.
Really now, life is so hard because things don't stir themselves appart... that we need to stir our hearts more... like, we need to face the whole of science just to have true peace of mind.
I swear if I met myself and had a little more energy... but I'm being egocentric and hypocritical.