Afraid of saying Enough

Read and read and read and read until my fears are repaired and then read and read until I lose all pleasure and then don't read and ignore and ignore until I collapse and return to the raw passion of writing and then wait a few days until I give any high ideals to the easier, more comfortable pain of gaining happiness of you reading and reading until my fear of not aknowledging my passion and ending up alone come back and then read and read and...

Read, live, sing, work... not a difference. Love, cry, whatever.
Why a circle? And if I say "NO! ENOUGH! I SHALL BEBORN ANEW AND BREAK THIS VICIOUS..." bullsh!t.

Starting is easy. How do you keep it going? Why? I need someone to keep me up to it. Or do I only imagine I need, in sort of a stupid excuse? Well, I am pretty stupid. I want it to stop. 
I say this because I am frustrated. yay. I mistake and mistake and mistake...

And it keeps occuring to me that if only there was that someone... and then I go on and on and on and no and no and no...

Siiiiigh. The ugliness I hold true.
And I have been given so much! Ah, that darn denial of goodness again. Sh!t. 

Enough and enough and enough until you crash and then more enough. Chasing and chasing and chasing tails. 

I keep waiting for that click in my mind and it doesn't happen. And I'm mad because I could be more profound, more caring, more myself. And instead I keep hatin' on life. I sound like Eminem now.

Cuz I'm beginning to feel like a Pain Rod, Pain Rod, All my people from the front to the back leave, back leave.

Word, homie, rock just gets you more lucidly frustrated.

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