Memories

It just keeps occuring to me..  that existential why.
Again, I tell myself... anything... to what purpose? A God, ourselves... but what, exactly? For if we disappear, so does any former-superior beings purpose... and if God had us as a purpose... how is he any different for us?

Shallow questions for a quiet afternoon.

But what if we really didn't have a purpose (that is, other than one we put for ourselves)? What if our survival or death will ultimately not matter to anyone? What if the Universe just is... devoid of any universal purpose?
Afterall... the Universe, as far as we can tell... is basically empty.
99.9999999999999... and on and on and on..
Emptiness.
I mean... statistically... matter to the universe is like a grain of sand compared to the Virgo supercluster.
We are the exception...

And we STILL managed to exist... to have all the life sustaining conditions meet and the rythmicity of our home stagnant and all that good stuff.

It's too_____to fit into words.
Now i feel lucky and thankful. That's an improvement.

When I come to think of it... how many of us get to feel like all the universe wouldn't even be called like this if we weren't here? I mean... without us... nothing would have sense... to whom would the universe be born and then die? It would almost we like it never even existed... even though it does.
Of course... it doesn't care.. it can't care... or i simply don't know.

But even when we do realise we are, in every aspect and DNA base unique... we still kill each other... I feel empty again. We're ruining what probabilities have given us. We don't care. And who are we to blame? Who am I to judge? Can't answer... there us no supreme court to dictate the answer.

But... the laws of physics are there regardless of who cares and who asks.
And matter wants to be efficient and consume as little energy.

Which is what each one of us wants. And us as a species.
That's a role too..  that I'm happy to fill in. And I feel accomplished.

And lucky.

Thanks, Universe. :)

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