Trees that wear hats

Cu totii suntem cine suntem din necesitate. I wish I were yours to be missed. In continuare, o lista cu ideile scrise in 10 ani, in care ma regasesc: Aplatizat intre o dulce profunzime care se prelinge si se atenueaza in multele ore de frustrare si un amar vis catre ce a fost si ce ar putea fi.   The darkness, the rain outside, the instrumentals, the urge to just write away at life, trying to prove a point to it all.. Iar moartea aduce impreuna, iar povestile deformeaza, consumul nu satisface. Sunt în butoi, butoiul în ocean. Dar eu nu sunt în ocean, nu am voie. Sunt doar pierdut, condus de forțe ce nu țin de mine. Pot vâsli cu mintea mea micuța împotriva curenților de circumstanțe ce mă încojoară? Peace is not a state, however. It is a process of becoming, of constant self-check and self-change. Deci nu te plange ca nu ai timp, asta inseamna sa existi, sa fii mereu mai in viitor decat iti dai seama. I can't remember if I ever deserved you, but you wouldn't know or care, for yo

So powerful the feeling that these visions come to me when I'm awake. In them, you are angry with me, you chastise me for all I've wronged. You tell me again and again, ever in more eloquent forms, how I've betrayed your very being. You curse me and kick me and explain to me the depths of your despair and I sit there, willingly, and take it all for I know I've earned it. And in your fury I repent for my actions. And my demeanor falls and meets your wrathful gaze. And most importantly, it's salvation. For I get to say to all this: yes, I see now, I'm wide awake. Bruise me, but my skin knows to be angry at my soul for welcoming the devil within, instead of you. So compelling, so intimate and wishful this is, that I see it happening before me, even though I stay, locked with key in hand, in an ivory tower. Yet I cannot ask you to kill me, to salvage me. I want to, so badly. But my punishment is more worthy of the ultimate domain of hell, betrayal. Instead of anger

 No matter what I do or what I tell myself, I long for you. I've been so damn irresponsible, negligent and careless, I couldn't speak or act or come forth with any sort of truth. Such a great length of time I've spent torn between the anxiety of commitment and this damn longing. What kept me back was a stupid sense of  overbearing childish immaturity. So many dreams and "could've been" mixed with regret. Washing me over, wave after wave, and me instead of surfing the surface and coming on top with what I truly felt, I let it drown me into nothing.  Yet time never fails to roll over any ocean. Waters consume and dissipate. In the wake, my mind left with only one course: leave. Shut up and leave. At least stop causing any more suffering around you. Live with the misery that only a semi-awake mind can impose over itself. Live and let die and let live and die.  Yet the smell of linden and the sun-kiss of early summer, time after time, takes me into her arms and ta